we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
