Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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