I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
