I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
