you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
