some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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