I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
