I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
