You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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