You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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