I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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