I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
