Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
