$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
