Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
