whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
