I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
