Duck Duck Cougar?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
