..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
