brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
