I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
