Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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