Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
