Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
