I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
