If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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