think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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