we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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