I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
