i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
