Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
