we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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