were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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