the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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