you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
