So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
