but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
