capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
