just come out here and I will go home with you...
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
