I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
