At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Vodka?
Forever.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
