I need help removing her.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
