this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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