I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
