I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Couch. On fire.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
