Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
