Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
