She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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