Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
