i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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